Redefining ordinary

Through this journey of Shane joining the army, I have found that my definition of an ordinary day has definitely changed! For example, Shane has three phases of training, hard weeks, medium, and easy. During his hard weeks of training (which he just recently had two in a row) he leaves at 8am and gets home at 1am the next day. Most people would probably find this difficult to deal with, but for myself its pretty easy. I value our time together so much more during weeks like this amd it gives me time to grow in my personal relationship with God. And I usually spend most nights buried in a book while he is gone :) so while I value our time together, time apart is something to be valued too. It makes that time together that much more special.

Anyways, while most people go to bed wondering how the next day will go or what they will wear, I go to bed wondering what injuries Shane will come home with and how hard will I have to try to convince him to get it looked at. Like this gem for example:

It took almost a week for me to convince him to get medicine to this. He says a splinter caused this but im not so sure haha. i was convinced he was getting gang green and was going to lose his finger. Alas, it was just an infection. I also have to wonder if something went wrong during training. One night shane came home after an accident happening and he had to turnikit someones arm. I have to prepare how to be supportive in times like that and how to comfort.

God is the key in all of this really. Its amazing how He Prepared me for this life. He helps me with peace of mind. Most would worry about their husbands and while i sometimes worry, i try my best to trust in God to keep shane safe if that is His will. not worrying is key in my role as a supportive wife. Its one less thimg shane has to worry about and for that i am thankful.

Anyways, when we do get time together like this weekend, we make banging dinners like this:

This is cheese tortolini with grilled chicken and vodka sauce with shrimp and halibut kabobs. 

So this is an ordinary week for me, which leads me to believe that my definition of ordinary has most definitely changed. But i love it. :)

An unsettling settlement: unfiltered

Who would have guessed?

One month left until Shane was to be done with training. After nine months apart, I was supposed to be thrilled beyond belief! Instead I found myself down, stressed, and worried. I had become so familiar with the comforts home again that leaving my friends and family, everything I've known since second grade, was a depressing prospect. Leaving was much harder than I anticipated.

I found myself to be harsh to my husband and placing blame on him for taking me across the country. I knew my relationship with God was being tested and I was failing.

Finally, sunday came and we decided to try a church in the capitol. What was the message about, you may ask? None other than the fruits of the Holy Spirit; love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control (Galatians 5: 22-23). I realized at that moment that I had shown none of those since being in Washington. I had forgotten how to give my life fully to God and I had neglected my husband. All the while, when I deserved nothing but anger from Shane, he showed me a glimpse of Christ In how much grace and understanding he gave me. I am constantly reminded how blessed I am with a man who is so patient with me. He stands firm in his decision making and leads the family the way God intends him to, and he doesn't let me sway his decision. Yet he does this with a grace that baffles me.

So I finally realized that I'm doing this whole move thing wrong. Im sitting here trying to deal with all my emotions by myself, when I have a God who is asking me to give it to Him. You can imagine how my life turned around with this very simple realization. I knew that I wanted my life to bear the fruits of the Holy Spirit and I work daily to demonstrate these attributes. I apologized to Shane for being a bear of a wife and his beautiful respond was "thats ok, I'm just glad you're back". Again just baffling.

I am a woman who constantly makes mistakes and failures. Sometimes i realize i have strayed from the flock without even realizing how i got so far away. And I am so thankful that I have a God who says to me "thats ok, I'm just glad you're back".

Awestruck by His grace and love.