My Target Restroom Experience

I just want to start off saying that I usually try and stay out of these conversations, because most of the time, they really don’t affect me.  I honestly didn’t feel like the bathroom issue was a big deal, because I didn’t feel like anything would change that much. I’m sure the transgender community has either been using the bathroom that affiliates with them or the family restroom for a while, so what is really changing? So I never really put any thought or concern to the issue. I just kept on going on. I still shopped at target, and up until yesterday, planned on continuing to use their facilities.

To the 19 year old boy who thought it was hilarious to use the women’s restroom at target just because you could:

Did you know, that the first response as I walked in to the bathroom with my three month old son and saw that you were the only other person in the restroom, was fear?  Yes. Fear. Because there was something in my environment that was not supposed to be there.  My natural instinct when I see a man in the women’s bathroom is fear.  Sure after I thought about it, I figured that if he were to try anything I could easily just scream.  But I experienced fear. And I shouldn’t have.

The second response I felt was embarrassment.  You were in a very private area. And I was embarrassed to see you there. It is an area that I don’t even let my husband into, because it’s gross.  But you were there.  You who thought it would be funny to use the target women’s restroom because you simply could.  And as you cracked a smile at me and left, I shuddered.  You laughed, and I shuddered.  I shuddered because I had a million different scenarios running through my head as I wheel my three month old by you. 

No nothing happened.  But I have never felt so uncomfortable before, and I never want to experience that again.  I came home and told my husband that I never wanted to use a public facility again.  Because I walked into a situation where nothing happened, but what if that isn’t the case the next time.  In the mall, the bathroom is down an extremely long corridor.  I can guarantee you that I will never use that restroom (just as a disclaimer, I live in Washington, and they passed a bill which basically makes everyone allow men to use the women’s restrooms everywhere.)

Yes I am a Christian. No I may not agree with the transgender issue, but they are still people and deserve the same basic comforts as the rest of us. But when we allow our policies to be as vague as target (and the state of Washington) has, allowing ANYONE to use the women’s restroom, you make about half of the population be put into situations that could make them feel the way I did.  Because you will always have  people who misuse this policy; as a joke or as an opportunity to do harm.

I am not ok with that.

My Perfect Birth Story

My Perfect Water Birth Birth Story

March 12, 2016 is definitely a day I will never be able to fully describe. Both because of the immense joy that came on that day, and because I was probably asleep/not exactly in a present state of mind to be able to explain it to you! Gabriel Andrew Wiseman was born on that day and that makes it one of the best days in the world.

Now, before I go into details, I want to explain my reasoning for desiring a water birth in the first place.  I felt the Lord tell me that he was going to draw me into a deeper relationship with him through my birth experience.  I would lean into him and trust him with my labor and pain, knowing that everything would be ok. So I opted for the drug free route and decided that a water birth sounded the most appealing for a natural birth.  With that decision made, Shane and I started taking a 12 week Bradley Method class to help us navigate the birth process and pain management techniques.  Shane was going to be fully equipped to be my birthing partner and coach and I felt completely ready and prepared to face the challenge of labor along with the potential detours that can happen during labor that might not be exactly what you had planned.  We had Bethel Pandora radio station all set up to play during my labor and snacks and water/Gatorade for me to eat and drink between contractions to give me some energy.  We had a meal planned for when I went into early labor (deer fajitas… yummm) so that I would be fully energized and ready to get through an incredibly physically exhausting time. We were excited to meet our little boy.

Our plan didn’t start out like we though. I completely skipped early labor all together and woke up in active labor with contractions 4-5 minutes apart at 1:30am.  The night before I wasn’t hungry, so I ate a piece of banana bread for dinner.. And I definitely wasn’t in the mood to eat anything while in active labor.  So I started this beautiful journey just a bit hungry and not very energized.  Shane and I started our relaxation techniques and he was absolutely excellent at making sure I was getting water after every contraction and changing positions every few minutes.  Once my contractions were 4 minutes apart, we left for the hospital.  We got to the hospital at 4am and I was already dilated to 6.5 centimeters.  The nursing staff there was absolutely wonderful and were all ready to encourage me with this natural birth.  I got changed into my cotton gown that I had picked because it was comfortable and Shane put on my non slip socks and we labored a bit in the room till my midwife got there and said I could try to labor in the tub for a while.  Unfortunately, the tub made my contractions space out.  In the moment, it was nice for me because I was so exhausted and I was sleeping between my contractions. During most of the labor, I don’t even remember having my eyes open, that’s how exhausted I was. On top of being exhausted, every snack we had packed to give me energy between contractions made me sick except honey sticks, so Shane was trying to force me to eat honey when he could because it’s the only thing that stayed down. Shane had my Pandora station on and I prayed through most of my contractions. But because my contractions spaced out, I had to get out of the tub and try different positions to progress. At about noon, I was so tired, that my midwife suggested an IV to try and give me fluids to boost my energy.  Shane and I talked about it and agreed to try it, because I would definitely need more energy to push.  During this whole process, I not only felt the love of Shane just pouring over me, but the love of the Lord and I had no fears or anxiety. During transition labor, I was definitely feeling ready to throw in the towel, but Shane was so good at encouraging me and reminding me why I was doing this. It was truly beautiful. I finally reached 10 centimeters at 12:30. Because the tub spaced my contractions out, my midwife wanted me to try pushing in the bed first, then if that was going well, we could move to the tub.

Once I started pushing, my midwife found out that the baby was in a posterior position. This means that instead of being face down when he comes out, he would be face up. This is the cause of a lot of back labor and it’s harder for the baby to come out because it’s more difficult to get past the pelvic bones. I pushed for an hour and a half before my body had hit its physical exhaustion climax.  My body was exhausted, my uterus was exhausted, and I was only able to push for about 3 seconds at a time before needing a break.  At that point, my contractions also spaced out to 7-9 minutes apart. My midwife knew I didn’t want interventions, but suggested an epidural to give my body relief and sleep, and Pitocin to get my contractions to get closer back together because the baby wasn’t progressing at all.  Shane and I discussed it, and decided that we trusted our medical professionals and we knew we had done everything we could to get the baby out my own.  Epidural it would be.

That was probably the most amazing 4 hours of sleep I have ever had.  I received the epidural and don’t really remember getting it because I was falling asleep while he was administering it. I was also still having contractions and feeling the urge to push. I don’t think I could ever describe just how tired I was.  During the 4 hours I was able to sleep, they had the Pitocin going so that Gabe would progress on his own, slowly. At 6pm, I started to push again, completely energized and fully alert, ready to meet my son.  However, he got stuck and ended up needing to be vacuum suctioned out while I was pushing.  At 6:45, I delivered a beautiful, perfect and wonderful baby boy and it was absolutely amazing.

This was not exactly the birth story I had thought I would type up, but it’s my birth story, and it’s perfect.  It’s a story full of love, and hardship, and hard decisions, and new life.  Its proof of how much I can truly rely on Jesus that everything will be ok and just to trust in him. And its proof of how much Jesus pours out his love on me through my husband.  I couldn’t have asked for a better labor experience than the one that Shane and I were able to have together.  The amount of patience, kindness, and love that he poured over me during this labor was just too much to describe. And at the end of it all, I got to enjoy my wonderful baby boy. 

A Birthday Insight

So, as you all will see, I changed the name of my blog. As it happens, I haven't traveled very much as an army wife.  So I decided I wanted to rebrand my blog.  What I noticed in all my blogs is how the Lord is teaching me to taste and see that he is good. So there you have it.  Now on to this very long awaited blog..

While it is still Valentine's Day here in the US, where Shane is, it's his birthday! I wanted to take some time to explain why I am so thankful that he was born 25 years ago.  This is not only one of my favorite stories, its a very big piece of my testimony.  Be warned, it may get a little sappy because I miss him, today he surprised me with getting our friends to give me flowers and my favorite chocolate, and I'm pregnant so the hormones are flowing. I hope you enjoy it, because it is open, honest, and raw.

I am thankful for Shane on his birthday, because his constant faithfulness to the Lord is what ultimately brought me to Christ.

January 22, 2011 Shane Tanner Wiseman took me on our first date (a group date with his friends) to go swing dancing. Disclaimer: this was after we had been talking for about a month and getting to know more about each other over lunch (which made him nervous that he was entering the friend zone). I knew he was a Christian, but I wasn't entirely sure how big of a part of his life this was.  I always believed in God and I believed that Christ was the son of God, but I had never fully given my life to the Lord.  I had never surrendered everything I have and am to following God.  Later on down the road, Shane would tell me a very profound statement: "Satan believes in Jesus Christ. What sets us apart, is we desire to become more like Christ, instead of living our lives in opposition to him." The majority of my life had been just that; living opposite of the ways that the Lord desired me to live, and not really thinking twice about it.  Anyways, that night, Shane invited me to church the following day.  After church, he asked me how I liked the service, and then asked me if I was saved. Of course I said yes. He told me that he couldn't date someone who didn't know Jesus as their lord and savior.  He asked me to share my testimony with him. So I came up with something that I thought was good from a young life retreat that I took in high school. I realized then how serious he was about this whole "church thing". He asked me to be his girlfriend that evening, and I decided that he was really nice, and I would like to give it a try.

The next day, I went to Barnes and Noble and bought a bible.

Every time he would stop by my dorm, I would throw the bible open and read something real quick so I could show him how I got a nugget out of this or that passage. I was bamboozling him into believing that this girl, who he thinks is awesome, was a Christian. (When I tell him this later, he laughs and tells me he always thought it was strange that EVERY time he came over I was reading the bible. But then, being the sweet man that he is, he goes, "then I just thought maybe you were just really getting after it".)

We started going to Northstar church every Sunday.

I started enjoying church services, and paying attention to what was being said.  I enjoyed the people who were pouring into my life and the new friends I was making. I became curious about this new life people kept talking about, because it seemed so wonderful.

On Easter Sunday, 2011, Jeff Noble handed out a book called " A Case for Easter". If you haven't read it, please do.  It is only 100 pages and it will change your life.  That book was the tipping point on the scale. After reading it and ugly crying over it, I fully gave my life to Christ.  It wasn't a game for me anymore. I felt my entire life shift in that moment toward something that is more than I could ever hope to put into words. As I look back, I am thankful that God loves us so much, that he will reach down through our own sin, and use it for his glory.  He chose me to be his daughter, and I am so undeserving, but so very grateful and thankful.

Mark 2:17 "And when Jesus heard it, he said to them, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick.  I came not to call the righteous, but sinners."

Thank the Lord for that, because I desperately needed a physician.  And don't mistake my words, because I am definitely still a sinner, but I am constantly in hot pursuit of my physician!

I have been so blessed to have Shane in my life as my husband.  He continues to show me the love of Christ on a daily basis in his patience, grace, love, kindness, and leadership.  I love seeing God work through our marriage and use our times apart to reaffirm his position at the center of our marriage.  We love each other so well because we both strive to show the other the love of Christ.  The way Shane treats me, makes me strive to be the woman who he seems to think I am.  His patience alone is astonishing and is a true testament to the Holy Spirit living in him.

I am thankful that God loves me so much that he not only gives me the biggest blessing of my life in saving me and promising an eternity with him. No, on top of that, he extra blesses me by giving me this man who I absolutely adore and look up to.

Happy Birthday Shane. I love you, and I am forever thankful for you. Thank you for your servant-leader heart, and for being a shining example of what it means to follow the lord and obey his calling. I get so excited when I think about raising our son together.

What a stud.