No presents under the christmas tree

So I realize it has been forever since I have writtwn on here. Part of the reason was that I wanted my next post to be my testimony. However, im still working on it and refining it so that one will be coming later. A few updates that most already know, Shane completed ranger school and continues to amaze me every day with his love for the lord and how he lives to serve Him. Marriage has been absolutely blissful and we are continuing to soak up as much time together as possible because he will be deploying shortly,  which will be our next big adventure and hurtle. I am constantly surprised by how God seems to have made our marriage thrive in the military and through training and prepping for his first deployment but im so thankful for how much we ginuenly love eachother and continue to show each other Christ through marriage. God is so good.

   Now, to what this post is about. I just wanted to share how Shane and I have decided to spend Christmas.  A couple years ago, a friend shared a blog that impacted mine and shanes life and convicted us on a few different levels. It was about a young boy asking his mom why he received presents on Jesus's birthday. This question hit my heart in a big way. How often to I ask for things I don't even need, just because its considered tradition? Now this is not saying that exchanging gifts is wrong. Each person is convicted in different ways, and this is just how Jesus spoke to our hearts. Matthew 25:40 says "and the king will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'"

  This makes me so excited! Because now I'm giving presents to Jesus on his birthday! This year, instead of buying presents, we are buying military grade blankets and hand warmers and im cooking a hot meal. On christmas, shane and I will be in downtown olympia handing them out to the homeless. Ive never appreciated christmas more and its significance.

  I'd like to say thank you to all my family for being so understanding and loving in our decision to not give gifts. A big shout out to my mom who still sent me some bomb pots and pans (she has this uncanny instinct as to what I need) and to my dad who sent some christmas money. I am so blessed by the amazing family I have and love you all so much.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Going, going, gone

It is hard to believe that another year of being married to shane has gone by. I look at my wedding pictures and feel like it was just a few weeks ago; Nope, two years.

It amazes me how much I learn and grow by being married to shane and having a dog. For example, if there is a space under your fence for the dog to get out, cardboard boxes will not help to keep him in and you should expect a call from your brand new neighbors while you are at work (my lesson of the day today). They were super nice though so that was cool but I did find out that the old couple across the street are not very nice (Mr. Wilson type guy) so I have to steer clear of them.

On the more serious side, although shane and I only spent 3 months of this whole last year together, I feel like we couldn't be stronger. Not only in our relationship with each other, but in our personal relationships with God as well. I learned to be patient (disclaimer: I have not master this, especially when I am hungry). Waiting two weeks for a response to a question you wrote in a letter is definitely not optimal but we got through. I learned to start controlling my emotions (again, still working on this when im hungry). Shane has so much going on with work and the responsibilities of being the lease of our household. I dont want ro mal his job any harder. He left yesterday for ranger school and we are back to letter writing do four + months. No matter how sad I felt, I constantly tell him how proud I am of him and how good he will do and I encourage him in his endeavors for the Lord. I refuse to be a wife who brings her husband down and I strive to always lift shane up; to be his helper. I learned to forgive easily and apoligize quickly. When you have limited time with someone, the last thing you want is to spend that Tim being upset with one another. Most importantly, I learned to fully rely on God for my needs. I see any time with shane as a huge blessing but my heart belongs to Jesus and he keeps my cup filled <3 its nice to never have to worry about a deployment or training school with God,  He never leaves and that is my greatest comfort!

We were definitely blessed by shane being here to move in and spend the first night in our home together, and we even got 2.75 hours of our anniversary together before I dropped him off! I soaked in every second :) here he is off to ranger school:

What a year it has been and im so excited for what the next year of marriage will bring :) God has some big plans for us here, i can already tell.

A Shining example of boldness

So right now it is 9:31pm in washington and we have a traveling vacuume sales man in our home. He has been here for nearly two hours now. However, he has not been selling a vacuum to us. Instead, shane has been selling him the gospel truth! It starts at 7 when he knocks at the door and asks if we will allow him an opportunity to demonstrate this vacuum. We say sure and he said he would be back in 30 minutes. I start to make cookies for the man because thats what I do, then I continue to pack my things while shane stays with the guy. As im in the room, I hear shanes voice getting louder. I crawl (literally I felt likea kid sneaking out of bed) and listen. Instantly I know shane is sharing the gospel with this man and I can't help but just continue to listen and be so overjoyed by his faithfullness.I am so encouraged by how bold he is to share the word of god with complete strangers! then I hear the man say that he knows God brought him to our doorstep. I am so blessed to be married to a man who is constantly chasing after God's heart. What a good and faithful servant. I love him. Then end.

A different kind of excitement

When you love someone so much, all your priorities and excitements start to change. They become something you probably never expected you would get excited about.

This evening, Shane got a call from one of the sargeants telling him he needed to be at work by 6am instead of 9 because he is taking the ranger pt test. "What does that mean?" you might ask.

It means he is going to Ranger school.

This is what he has been wanting since day one of joining and what he has worked so hard for.  This is one of the hardest schools to go through and opens the doors to so much more when completed. This is an avenue to be in a leadership position and be able to share the gospel to the men who will be looking up to him. It is a way for him to lead not only militarily, but spiritually! It has been shane's deepest desire.  He has worked so hard.

To give you a better idea of what it takes to even be allowed a slot into ranger school, most men dont get to go until after their first deployment and then it goes by how long you have been in the battalion usually.

Shane has been on zero deployments and has been here 3 months.

He is the hardest worker I know. He truly does everything to his best ability to further the kingdom of God and my heart could not be more grateful. He is a light not only to me but to all the men who watch him. He goes the extra mile and has been noticed for it. That and having the best physical training score helps too haha.

So here I am, after nine months of being away from each other, we finally got these past two months together. And now he will be leaving for 10 + weeks with little to no contact.

 I couldn't be more excited!

I am so thrilled because I know what it means to him and I know what it means to God. 

Who would have guessed I would be so excited for this? I was certainly surprised by it ha. Its crazy how love changes your heart's desires. Christ's love for me makes me want to show shane some of that love in my everyday actions. My support being one of those actions. It makes me desire to support him as he is being used by God. Im so excited for where this journey will take us. Even if I dont know where that might be just yet. :)

Washingtonian?

So to start this thing off right, ill make you guys chuckle. A bonus of my job is that I get super amazing discounts and buy shane workout clothes. Well apparently one of the shirts I got him landed on the wrong rack. All I hear is "hey honey, I think this is a woman's shirt! I can't get my arms all the way in." Instantly I start laughing as he comes out flexing in what I thought to be a mens large. I personally think he liked the way it looked on him haha and here it is for your viewing pleasure, although the picture doesn't do it justice!

As i put these up i started laughing again. I have am awesome husband. Hands down.

So if anybody remembers my difficult time finding joy in my job i have some exciting news! I LOVE MY JOB NOW!! It is so amazing how much nicer people are here and it just makes your whole work experience so much more fun! That and i really do enjoy the added responsibility that i have now because it keeps me busy and i really feel like i impact the work experience of my associates! I want them to want to be at work and enjoy it and i have been having such a great time making that happen for them! And i ran into one of them at church which was so cool! I am thankful for this wonderful place that i spend 45 hours a week at hahah

Finding a church home has definitelty helped in this transition. I have had the opportunity to meet some wonderful people and make really meaningful relationships. One of those people is Brooke!  She has two beautiful kids and they have the coolest house with and orchard! It means the world to me that God put this woman in my life and her husband in Shanes life. Im excited :)

Well now to the weather. I love the weather here! This past week has been absolutely beautiful! Sure it rains more than most states but when it does rain it is more of a mist or sprinkle. It hardly ever rains hard. And the rain is worth it when you see how georgous it is on a sunny day! This place is growing on me <3 it is a place where God's glory and presence is unyielding,  undenying, and unexplainable! Hah it is home <3

Redefining ordinary

Through this journey of Shane joining the army, I have found that my definition of an ordinary day has definitely changed! For example, Shane has three phases of training, hard weeks, medium, and easy. During his hard weeks of training (which he just recently had two in a row) he leaves at 8am and gets home at 1am the next day. Most people would probably find this difficult to deal with, but for myself its pretty easy. I value our time together so much more during weeks like this amd it gives me time to grow in my personal relationship with God. And I usually spend most nights buried in a book while he is gone :) so while I value our time together, time apart is something to be valued too. It makes that time together that much more special.

Anyways, while most people go to bed wondering how the next day will go or what they will wear, I go to bed wondering what injuries Shane will come home with and how hard will I have to try to convince him to get it looked at. Like this gem for example:

It took almost a week for me to convince him to get medicine to this. He says a splinter caused this but im not so sure haha. i was convinced he was getting gang green and was going to lose his finger. Alas, it was just an infection. I also have to wonder if something went wrong during training. One night shane came home after an accident happening and he had to turnikit someones arm. I have to prepare how to be supportive in times like that and how to comfort.

God is the key in all of this really. Its amazing how He Prepared me for this life. He helps me with peace of mind. Most would worry about their husbands and while i sometimes worry, i try my best to trust in God to keep shane safe if that is His will. not worrying is key in my role as a supportive wife. Its one less thimg shane has to worry about and for that i am thankful.

Anyways, when we do get time together like this weekend, we make banging dinners like this:

This is cheese tortolini with grilled chicken and vodka sauce with shrimp and halibut kabobs. 

So this is an ordinary week for me, which leads me to believe that my definition of ordinary has most definitely changed. But i love it. :)

An unsettling settlement: unfiltered

Who would have guessed?

One month left until Shane was to be done with training. After nine months apart, I was supposed to be thrilled beyond belief! Instead I found myself down, stressed, and worried. I had become so familiar with the comforts home again that leaving my friends and family, everything I've known since second grade, was a depressing prospect. Leaving was much harder than I anticipated.

I found myself to be harsh to my husband and placing blame on him for taking me across the country. I knew my relationship with God was being tested and I was failing.

Finally, sunday came and we decided to try a church in the capitol. What was the message about, you may ask? None other than the fruits of the Holy Spirit; love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control (Galatians 5: 22-23). I realized at that moment that I had shown none of those since being in Washington. I had forgotten how to give my life fully to God and I had neglected my husband. All the while, when I deserved nothing but anger from Shane, he showed me a glimpse of Christ In how much grace and understanding he gave me. I am constantly reminded how blessed I am with a man who is so patient with me. He stands firm in his decision making and leads the family the way God intends him to, and he doesn't let me sway his decision. Yet he does this with a grace that baffles me.

So I finally realized that I'm doing this whole move thing wrong. Im sitting here trying to deal with all my emotions by myself, when I have a God who is asking me to give it to Him. You can imagine how my life turned around with this very simple realization. I knew that I wanted my life to bear the fruits of the Holy Spirit and I work daily to demonstrate these attributes. I apologized to Shane for being a bear of a wife and his beautiful respond was "thats ok, I'm just glad you're back". Again just baffling.

I am a woman who constantly makes mistakes and failures. Sometimes i realize i have strayed from the flock without even realizing how i got so far away. And I am so thankful that I have a God who says to me "thats ok, I'm just glad you're back".

Awestruck by His grace and love.